Compromise?

Should you? Should I? My mother says I am very stubborn and once I latch onto something I won't change my mind unless I want to. No one decides for me.

Why is it that a lot of people tell me that marriage is about- love, care and compromises? Yes it’s about love, trust, honesty, and blah blah but does the compromise thing work on both sides? I hate that word.
Will the guy compromise if I want something? Shouldn’t he? It’s a give and take policy, right? So what if I want a room of my room? A room- which has my own bed, my books, my stuffed toys and all the little things that matter to me? My very own haven in a house that is labeled “us”…is it wrong? A retreat... a place where it’s all about me…its not like I am pushing him out, its just that I need my space at times.

You listen to your music, you decorate it the way you want it and make it a part of who you are. I don’t think its wrong. Living with someone can at times make you forget about yourself. Sometimes you need time off, just to be yourself, unwind and relax. Putting the “I” before the “us”…it’s not wrong is it? Sometimes? I am sure the guy would like to have his space, in fact who doesn’t. We all like to have our own retreat, a place that belongs to you and something that shares all your secrets, dreams and fears.

Why does compromise sound so much like letting go of who you are and being what the other wants you to be?

I will shush up now… happy weekend people. :)

Sometimes...

I don’t get it. It's supposed to be a holiday today and I don’t have one. We didn’t even get an off for Holi... how weird is that? Nor did we get an off for Pongal. Not like I celebrate half of them festivals but I would like a holiday as much as the other guy who is probably dreaming of sun kissed beaches and snoring to his heart's content… (Well I don’t like people who snore, unless of course you have a cold and cant really help but snore) what I am actually trying to say is that I want a part of the dreamless sleep too! Stupid, stupid place!

How would you describe nice? What is nice or let’s say whom can you call nice? If you are concerned about people around you, does that make you nice or does that make a real nosy person? If you are trying to make people smile and forget their problems, does that make you nice or does that mean you are taking over the person's fight? Does it make you nice if you are trying to help someone who does not want to be helped at all? Or are you forcing your will on them?

Can you sit around people who keep sulking day in and day out? Everyday you have to face that gloom and everyday you try to find out what has gone wrong… I think they like being in that bubble that they have created. They actually want to be sad and... and there is nothing you can do about it. So you leave them to their fate because you don’t really want to help anymore and you are tired of listening to all the lies and woes.

The day you decide you need to walk away… you actually feel light inside… as if a heavy burden has been laid off.

Things That Happen...

Things that happen to you right before the big day.

1. You are tensed and you keep pestering your buddy every five minutes.
2. You keep pestering your dad every hour.
3. Then you whine to your mother and your sister. Basically to everyone you know, sigh.
4. No appetite and your head starts to pound then your shoulders start to ache.
5. Next your jaws ache coz they are clenched too tight.
6. You get back to hostel and cos they are renovating half of it the plumbing is not working. You are at the point when you are gonna scream like a banshee when they come and tell you the water is coming after all,they forgot to put on the motor.(oh gawd!)

On the big day…

7. The next day you feel much better since you knocked off around nine the previous night.
8. Well things start looking up and then the iron box goes poof in front of your eyes.
9. Panic! What am I going to wear???

10. Hostel mate comes with a plan. Get the iron from another roomie's locker. She has the keys.
11. Then… sorry wrong keys. Mummy!!
12. You wake up this lazy lump that has a holiday. Pile all that you want (or think) to wear in her hands and march her off to some ironing guy.
13. She has no idea where to find him but has strict orders not to come back till she gets the job done.
14. Panic attack number 2. Where is she?
15. You start getting ready even though your clothes are somewhere out there in the city.
Finally she brings them neatly ironed. What an angel!
16. You are ready phew! Finally. You change your bag cos you want something that goes well with your outfit.
17. As you are reaching the place, you realize … yikes I left my wallet in the other bag. Stupid, stupid!
18. You explain to the auto man who starts laughing…ya right funny guy!
19. Your friend comes to your rescue. Thank god!
20. All goes well and you are happy as can be. :)

Do You Wonder Sometimes?

A day, a moment... a keepsake.

A night, a wish... a dream.

A smile... a glance and tears.

Conscience...

the guilt and the sorrow,

burnt to the ground.

The ready smile

The joy

The laughter…

Somewhat jaded and muted.

It’s changing

But the shadow remains

For how long I wonder…

It’s Not Wrong Then Why?!

Is it wrong for two people to talk to each other? Let me rephrase that. Is it wrong for two people of the opposite sex to converse, in office?

Well you do tend to talk to most of your colleagues. At some point, you are put together as a team to work on a new project. You can’t play the mute and refuse to converse with that person even though given a chance you would run a mile away. But you do choose whom you really like to crack jokes with and just plain discuss anything under the sun. In my case there are only two fellas who I really talk to. But I guess the rest of the jantha don’t like it or God knows what. One of the guys, who I talk to, gets picked upon or let’s just say they make fun of him. He isn’t bothered by it and laughs it off. (At least some ppl have sense!)

So I don’t vibe well with some of them. There are some I can’t stand and a few who cant utter a word in front of me. There are handful that I genuinely smile at and exchange pleasantries because they are nice but otherwise it’s just these guys. Well the girls are a different matter coz there are only two left from a mahila mandal of five. Sigh a strong fun filled clan of five. (Now it’s a strong fun filled clan of two I guess.) It used to be Rita, Sow Sow, Vee, AFJ and me… now its just AFJ and moi. Okay I am rambling away back to what I was saying…

It is quite juvenile actually for these guys to behave in such a manner. Is such the case at most work places? I hope not. So what is wrong if you hit it off with one guy but not with the rest? I mean it’s not like you don’t try to talk to the rest, it’s just that 3/4th of what you say sails right over their heads… what is a girl to do?

Then are these clowns downstairs, wish they would just topple off their chairs one of these days! They think it’s their duty to analyse what you are wearing for the day. I mean if I need a fashion consultant I will get one; you do not have to look at me every day!! That makes me so mad!!

I guess the best thing to do is ignore them. But sometimes I feel like throttling those idiots with their ties!

Woes...

A life without complications is a life without long hair. The summer is here; trust me when I say having long locks during this season is a definite death warrant. There can be other drawbacks as well. When you wake up all you can see is a black curtain- reason your hair is in your face or more like all over your face. Your roommate screams. Why? cos when you get up she really cant see your face; you end up looking like that character in Ring (I even scared myself when I looked into the mirror).

People keep yanking on it like some old-fashioned bell pull or something – I mean hello it hurts you fiend!! When you have others around you who do not have long locks, they constantly want to keep doing new things to your hair. Goodwill apart but will you stop pulling my hair when you guys are discussing about what you gonna do next? You humor them you and end up with a headache. You have to oil it wash it and it takes like hours to dry. My roomie goes mad when she has to oil my hair. Poor thing keeps going on and on about how much time it takes.

As it grows it starts to get heavier and heavier and sometimes I feel like shaving it all off! Ahh the blisss…. but I really cant do that…I do love my hair.But I have finally decided- I will go for a haircut. I cant take this pain anymore! But since the haircut will be my sister’s treat (don’t you just love being the younger one in the family?) I will be going to the stylist next month have to wait till sis gets back. I will probably be a little sad about cutting my hair since I was the one who really wanted to grow it long…but the heat is getting to me and I got my mother's permission to go ahead and cut it. So waiting till the next month… I wonder what she will do to my hair… hmmm.

A weekend that actually felt like one...

Saturday morning. I wake up and lean out to look at the balcony…knowing that the sun would be up, nice and hot…
Surprise surprise… it was cloudy.

I quickly got out of bed and opened the balcony doors to let in the cool breeze. It was pleasant…I went back to bed but I couldn’t sleep, didn’t want to, the day was beautiful…didn’t want to waste it. So I went upstairs with the picture of an empty beach and waves in my head.

Well all of them were up, three were leaving for college (ha ha ha). So that left five of us. One was sleeping in my room, there was no point waking her up cos she was up till three in the morning. Finally, four (Nandy, Prey, Shoozy and me) of us were ready to go.

Since Prey and I had to go to the Plaza for some work, we decided to pick up Nandy on the way back. Shoozy tagged along with us.

As soon as we walked out it started drizzling. Ohh goody! We finished our work and as we were heading back, Nandy called… there was a small riot going on in front of the LIC building…and since she was looking for a story to cover…she decided to cover this one. So while she was covering the story, we were getting hungry.

As usual, did not have breakfast when we got out of hostel. We headed down to this lil place down the road and since we were missing the hot dosas in hostel we decided to eat hot crispy dosas. Someone please remind me that dosas at home and outside have a big difference… size! I was blinking at it! I did try to finish it… but couldn’t…

By then Nandy joined us and we headed down to the beach. It started pouring heavily when we got there...walking around with umbrellas. Yes, yes, very smart walking around with umbrellas on the beach. Then something happened…the stupid sun came out!

Oh great…as in blazing hot that makes you go ow ow! Well we did have our umbrellas. We went ahead and sat down on a bench to talk. Sat there for an hour and decided to head back to hostel to sleep. I couldn’t sleep, was too busy making sense out of my room. I am still trying to make sense out of it. My roomie is coming back from home today, hope she has better luck.

Sunday was perfect, a nice lazy lunch with one of my friends...well we did argue about the place but my friend finally gave in...yay! And the rest of the day was spent in the hostel, reading. :) Very very lazy and I am going home this Wednesday...yippee!

I Love It!

I am in loveeeeeeeeeee!

No! No! Not with a guy jezzz… :P

I am in love with the music of Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. I was watching it last night with the rest of the gang. Well the part one is in a different class by itself but this wasn’t that bad. And Patrick Swayze was in it too!

A funny thing happened in between the movie, just as the couple are getting comfortable on screen the warden walks in…pin drop silence…she was more embarrassed than us…and she left in a hurry.
I have been humming some of the music at work…its quite addictive and I really want to learn to dance like that. :D

Well the weekend is here so I am going back to hostel and to all the chaos that is going to erupt tonight. Friday nights are usually like that here. Have a nice weekend you guys!

"I never really knew that you could dance like this...She make a man wanna speak spanish...Como se llama? Bonita. Mi casa, su casa."- Wyclef Jean feat. Claudette Ortiz .

Days Gone By...

Work.
Attended my convocation YAY!
Worked a bit more.

Slept a little.
Midnight birthday party!
Well basically the whole week was filled with work. Learnt the lesson of Ctrl+S as I had mentioned earlier.
Started getting up early like six in the morning… mom was quite amazed, am quite lazy and grumpy in the mornings.
Dada’s birthday. I love you papa! The best daddy in the whole universe!
Worked more and more.
Yelled at some people. Plotted the demise of someone like a wicked old witch, rubbing my hands with glee.
Killed a roach, well I didn’t, got my roomie to do it. I went screaming out of the room. Advice: Never keep your balcony door open.
Made someone do some work for a change. Hah! (Serves him right! This is what happens when you don’t do any work bozo!)
Ticked off someone on the road, felt mighty good about it. Don’t know how they figure out that they are Romeos from paradise. Bleh!
Made someone go green with envy as I was eating home cooked food! La la la la!
Worked a little more.
Went to the bookshop. Bought books. :D
Busy painting our hands and making palm prints on paper. That too, in the conference room, it was fun.
Worked more.

Tied sari for a roomie, kept twisting the sari. Finally got it right the third time... was awake by then coz the sand man had left me for good!
Went for Narnia with pals.
Went out shopping.
Literally dumped coke over a fella…wish it had fallen all over him.
Nothings aplenty and I ended up taking snaps and getting it converted into the charcoal drawing thing. I was brainwashed for half hour for that. And the doggie look, man not fair!
Crossed mount road with nothings aplenty laughing and scaring me by saying “hey it’s turning green”! *Blink blink* *shudder* (I hate crossing roads)
Worked a bit more.
Bonked someone on the head for calling me scrawny.
Ate pizza!
Looks like will be getting a breather from work for a while. God pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
And yes I missed this place.

Piling High!

It’s a never-ending process! Work…work…work…. Sigh! I have so much to write but have no time to do so. :(

Also, now I have learnt the art of ctrl-S, it’s not everyday that you make the brilliant mistake of closing a file (working on it for over an hour) without saving it! Yes I did it... Not fair!!!Work calls…whoever said growing up was fun didn’t know this aspect of it, really!

(p.s. And I am waiting to strangle 'the' person for this sudden overload!)